I get that. But grief is about *your* loss. Yes, it *is* absolutely normal for grief to be about the person grieving, and it *is* normal for anger to be part of that process.
But dying of suicide triggers a character assassination that dying of cancer doesn't. There's this big myth about people's support networks being all ready and willing to help if only the person who died had let them. They're not. If you're lucky, there might be a few people around you who have it in their own character to actually see, understand, and help. And even they might not be enough.
If it will help you, perhaps leave the cause of his death aside for now. You dealt with feelings of loss, including lost opportunity, when your cousin died - though the nature of his illness gave a chance for closure in his lifetime that this doesn't. Maybe it will help you to just process the loss itself first, before taking on the circumstances.
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syntheid
no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 04:22 pm (UTC)But dying of suicide triggers a character assassination that dying of cancer doesn't. There's this big myth about people's support networks being all ready and willing to help if only the person who died had let them. They're not. If you're lucky, there might be a few people around you who have it in their own character to actually see, understand, and help. And even they might not be enough.
If it will help you, perhaps leave the cause of his death aside for now. You dealt with feelings of loss, including lost opportunity, when your cousin died - though the nature of his illness gave a chance for closure in his lifetime that this doesn't. Maybe it will help you to just process the loss itself first, before taking on the circumstances.