Whaddya mean you're casting Adam Sandler as me?!!?

The irony here is that, although I like Woody Allen films, I only like them when he's not in them. In fact, I'll refuse to see a Woody Allen film if he moves from behind the camera at all.

Woody Allen Your film will be 60% romantic, 37% comedy, 36% complex plot, and a $ 29 million budget.

Be prepared to have your life story shot entirely in New York City -- though lately Woody's been loving shooting in London. Also, your music soundtrack is all jazz from before 1949. Filmography: Annie Hall, Manhattan, Stardust Memories, Everyone Says I Love You, etc. Woody has released one film per year consistently for the past 35 years. For the past 15 years he's been trying to make films like his older, funnier ones, just like characters in his Stardust Memories film suggest throughout. Regardless of his personal life, his films are American classics.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 74% on action-romance You scored higher than 67% on humor You scored higher than 34% on complexity You scored higher than 10% on budget

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on Ok Cupid

What was I thinking?

Sprint called me a few months back offering me residential service for $10 cheaper than Bell per month. So I switched, thinking it might be a good deal. I knew I had made a mistake when my line subsequently went dead for 5 days (no internet, no phone), but since I had just switched, I gave it another chance.

Now Sprint Canada has just been bought out by Rogers. Our new masters have taken a dim view of the lateness of my last payment, so they sent me a letter which I didn't notice (does anyone else think it's weird that a telecom company sent me a letter instead of phoning me?). Not knowing the name of my new phone master, I wrote the letter off as another piece of Junk Mail. I'm not with Rogers, so why should I open it?

A couple of days ago, we tried to make an outgoing call and it was refused. The operator told us the unspeakable name of our new phoney master and said, until we pay in full, we can't make outgoing calls.

So I took the bill, paid it in full using my online banking, and then called them to say I had paid my tithe. The minion I spoke with said that, because I paid through my bank, it would take 3 days to process and then 24-48 hours to reconnect the line (which would cost me an extra $25). That means that for 3 to 5 days, I can't make outgoing calls.

That also means no 911 calls. Anyone who knows who I live with, not having easy access to 911 is a big deal.

So I've switched back to Bell. It's more expensive and I'll need to pay another connection fee. But at least with Ma Bell, they phone you and leave messages if they're going to do anything dire with your line. At least I've got my cell phone, but still.

Yes, yes... I should've kept my bills paid up. But now they've got my money, they'll get more of it, and I get nothing in the meantime. Corporations suck.