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A friend's untimely passing
Oct. 23rd, 2008 07:15 pmI just got the call from a friend back home. An old school chum of mine from Quebec city committed suicide last night.
I'm reeling from waves of reactionary emotion about this. Of course, I'm devastated to hear that my friend is dead (he was in his late 30s), but I'm also furious about how selfish and self-centered this course of action is. He's suffered from a few setbacks in the past year, but he had strong family support, long-term friends to lean on, and he had first-hand knowledge of the many services available to the public.
Instead, he chose to end his life in his parent's house with a pistol.
I can't imagine what must have driven him to this, but I just want to shake him and cuff him about the head. He had so much to live for, so many friends and family that loved him, and hundreds of kids who looked up to him (he was a vice-principal of a high school).
I feel bad and guilty for feeling this way, but I'm just so angry at him right now. I'm way more angry than sad, although I'm sure that will change with time. This suicide is such a betrayal of every thing he was, everything he stood for (in my mind). He could've reached out to any of us, and we would've been there to help. Instead of facing his demons, he ran away from them. He took the coward's route.
Yes, I know. It is bad form to speak ill of the dead, but these are the emotions I'm struggling with right this minute. Maybe we'll find out more of what his demons were exactly and somethings will make more sense. Maybe nothing will make sense.
Good night Guy. I'll light a candle for you tonight to guide your troubled soul. It's the least I can do for you in death since I didn't know how to help you in life.
I'm reeling from waves of reactionary emotion about this. Of course, I'm devastated to hear that my friend is dead (he was in his late 30s), but I'm also furious about how selfish and self-centered this course of action is. He's suffered from a few setbacks in the past year, but he had strong family support, long-term friends to lean on, and he had first-hand knowledge of the many services available to the public.
Instead, he chose to end his life in his parent's house with a pistol.
I can't imagine what must have driven him to this, but I just want to shake him and cuff him about the head. He had so much to live for, so many friends and family that loved him, and hundreds of kids who looked up to him (he was a vice-principal of a high school).
I feel bad and guilty for feeling this way, but I'm just so angry at him right now. I'm way more angry than sad, although I'm sure that will change with time. This suicide is such a betrayal of every thing he was, everything he stood for (in my mind). He could've reached out to any of us, and we would've been there to help. Instead of facing his demons, he ran away from them. He took the coward's route.
Yes, I know. It is bad form to speak ill of the dead, but these are the emotions I'm struggling with right this minute. Maybe we'll find out more of what his demons were exactly and somethings will make more sense. Maybe nothing will make sense.
Good night Guy. I'll light a candle for you tonight to guide your troubled soul. It's the least I can do for you in death since I didn't know how to help you in life.
