Epiphanies

Nov. 10th, 2006 11:11 am
mythteller: (crazy)
Last week, I had two energy healers come to my class to give talks on Reiki and Therapeutic Touch. As Roo (the lovely and talented [livejournal.com profile] grrscary) demonstrated Reiki healing on one of my students, she asked the student if she had her shields up.

Many people have personal energy shields to protect themselves from being energetically drained or invaded. Ever sit by someone or have someone in your presence that just seems to drain the life out of you? They may not be doing anything overt, but there's just something about their presence that tires you out, leaving you exhausted or even ill. Other times, some people can have the opposite effect causing you to be coming agitated or even angry for no obvious reason. By learning personal shielding techniques, you can diminish or eliminate these effects.

In my case, I've got the perma-shield on. Nothing gets through it easily, although I can project energy easily enough. This usually means I that I have a more difficult time sensing energy or be affected by energetic healing. It's quite frustrating and I've long wondered where it comes from.

As I was chatting with the healers in my class, I mentionned the perma-shield and one of them said "It's a question of trust!" At first, I dismissed the comment because I trust these two people implicitly, but all at once, I was hit with a sudden ephipany on the nature and origin of my perma-shield.

Last year, I was seeing a therapist for a few months (over lingering depression issues). From those session, we realized that there are two beliefs stubbornly around in my noggin. They are as follows:

1. The world is out to get me.
2. I will always ultimately fail at whatever I attempt (especially if it's my idea) because the world is out to get me.

These are thoughts that are tied into several events from my childhood and adolescent years. They are not logical, I know that they are incorrect, I know intellectually that they are false. But on another level (maybe the emotional level), I can't shake these Truths. I want to let them go, but I can't imagine how.

So if I really believe that the world is out to get me, then I would need to be permanently shielded from whatever the world decides to hurl at me. Hence, the perma-shield.

Amazing. Now the question is: can I unlearn these two beliefs and what will happen to me if I do?
mythteller: (yipes_jump)
It's 2pm and I'm back in Montreal, all in one piece. To the untrained eye/ear, this may sound like a mundane thing. But in the world I live in, it's a blessing.

On the 417 East about 5 kilometers before exit 88, I felt the need to pull the car over. I wanted my bottle of water which was in the backseat, but even after I got it, I just felt the need to take a few extra moments by the road. The scenery wasn't particularly breathtaking and the sky was grey, but the autumnal scent was fresh in the air. I've been learning to trust my instincts, so I leaned against the car for a minute, drank my water, and then got back behind the wheel.

As I approached exit 88, I pulled over once again. A semi-truck was stopped, blocking the highway. Broken glass was everywhere and on the right shoulder, there was a red Toyota Camry with four people inside. The windows were broken and I could see that a girl in the back seat was the focus of the 3 other passengers.

I got out of the car and ran to the scene. The left side of the car was caved in, mostly in the back seat and I could see the girl in question was caught there. She was crying and fighting to stay awake. Two of her friends were talking to her and the third guy was holding her hand, but he kept blinking and shaking his head.

I took off my sweater, wrapped it around the girl, and phoned 911. The 911 operator informed me that an ambulance was already dispatched. By now, we were about 6 people crowded around the car. Others pulled out blankets and wrapped the injured people in the car. One of the people was a nurse, so she made sure the rest of us didn't do anything stupid.

About 40 minutes later (!!), the ambulance showed up as well as a medical helicopter. By now, the girl was fighting to stay conscious and the guy in the front was going into shock. I reached into the front of the car and took the guy's hand, trying to reassure him. He grabbed my hand and my arm and held on like a guy hanging off a cliff. I kept talking to him, trying to keep him from panicking, but the shock was causing him to shake badly. We piled more blankets on him, trying to calm him down.

The paramedics were examinig him now and he released me. It was only then than I noticed the I had sliced my arm open on the broken window glass. Broken glass is sharp; who knew? The nurse in the crowd disinfect the cut and bandaged me up.

About 30 minutes later, the two victims were loaded up in the ambulance and we were allowed to leave the scene. It was only 10 minutes later, while driving down the 417, that I realized that if I hadn't stopped for my water/scenery moment, that I might have gotten directly involved in that accident. Someone is keeping an eye out for me, and for that, I'm grateful.

So I'm back home safe. Please do me a favour and hug your loved ones. As corny granola as it sounds, what I witnessed today reminds me that every day is a gift.

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